Saucetown - July / August 2019


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Saucetown Interview: Sean Simmans

We sat down with artist and madman, Sean Simmans, the man responsible for all hand-drawn wizardry in our fine publication. Without him, we would be nothing (or worse). Behind the pen is a twisted genius, a funnyman, a father and an icon to many of our readers. Enjoy...


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Pizzafold (July / August 2019)

Pizza: BJs (Salem, OR)

Models: Poppi


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Letter From The Editor

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Saucetown News

All the stuff that news is made of...


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Ask A White Girl: Substance Abuse Help

Dear Candi, I am having a seriously hard time kicking hard drugs. I know that your column rarely deals with addiction, but I’m reaching out as a last resort here. No one will answer my calls or emails and I really appreciate that you take the time to give such amazing advice. Can you help me with my hard drug problem, before I lose everything?...


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Saucetown Printable Poster: The Saucetown State Fair

Come join us for the greasiest variety of mediocre entertainment...


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Otis Barley’s Beer Reviews: Cider Spotlight

Where elitism and drunkenness collide...


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Community Voices: What I Learned While Talking To The Homeless About Climate Change

Did you know that the United States is ranked as the 86th worst country in the world when it comes to pollution? We actually pollute almost as much as Ireland and Finland combined! So, when I saw a homeless camp under the single bridge that connects my mid-sized town’s east and west sides, the first thing I thought was, "Wow! That is a LOT of single-use plastic items, littered along the riverside"...


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Life’s, Like, What?

Life, interpreted by artist Sean Simmans.


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Carl Jung Visits Saucetown

We are one big collective blob of sauce...


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Saucetown Horoscopes

The stars are aligning and there’s nothing you can do about it...


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Mars Cafe #183

Enter into the strange and wonderful world of Mars Cafe, as documented by artist Sean Simmans...


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Here Come The Sputniks

Sean Simmans tried to warn us...


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Saucetown Ad Parodies - July / August 2019

Can you even tell the difference, anymore?


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Animals In Pants

The animal kingdom, according to Sean Simmans...


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Upcoming TV & Film Releases

Sneak previews of the stuff about to hit the screen...


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Advice For The Young

More wisdom from Simmans...


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Saucetown Magazine Cover-Up: The Portland Mediocrity

Easily disguise your copy of Saucetown by flipping over the last page, to reveal an entirely different (and fictitious) magazine cover...


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Simmans’ Page

We give our artist, Sean Simmans, his own page to advertise whatever he wants and this is what he did this month...


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