Community Voices: I Have No Idea How To Play Game Of Thrones

by Anthony Latecomer

Literally everyone on social media has been talking about this new game where the goal (I think) is to sleep with your siblings and kill the people closest to you, for some sort of prize. I think the winner gets a new chair or something. However, I still have no idea how to play and I’m afraid to ask, but I definitely want to get in on the trend now.

It must be super fun and rewarding, because every easily offended, morally righteous person I know is into it, surprisingly. For instance, the lady at Starbucks who got offended when I called my friend a "chick" the other week, well, today she was going off about how someone playing the game of thrones cut their brother’s you-know-what off during an orgy, and that she was excited to see what happens next week.

I’m always late to the party, it seems. I literally just found out about Harambe and I didn’t know who Bernie Sanders was until a few weeks ago. So, it’s my goal to catch up on this new throne game thing and impress my co-workers next Monday, by showing off how much I love playing it.

Anyways, I think it’s time to call my sister.

(More May / June 2019 Articles & Content)