Community Voices: Happy Valentine’s Day. Here’s An Old Photo Of You With Your Ex

by Mark Zuckerberg

People approach me on the street all the time and say, "Oh, hi, Mark. I really love the ’Facebook Memories’ feature that you guys added to my timeline. The inability to opt out of this feature makes it an easy and fun addition to my already satisfactory Facebook experience." This is why we’re taking the time to make your V-Day the happiest it can be, by soliciting to your timeline a picture of you with your ex, with no advance notice whatsoever!

Remember this special night, back when you were younger, prettier and happier? Here’s a photo of it. Trust me—if you re-share this picture on your timeline, it will get way more likes than a photo with your current crush. After all, these were the best years of your life and this picture is a reminder of how good it feels to be optimistically in love, completely naive to the fact that it’s just a fleeting chemical reaction in your brain, which rarely lasts more than a few years, tops.

Don’t worry—your ’photo memory’ is not visible to Becky, even though she was also tagged in the original photo. After all, we know she’s the reason your relationship fell apart—we read your messages. But, still, would you be interested in boosting this post for five dollars? We know that you don’t have anyone special to share that money with this year—again, we read your messages.

(More February 2019 Articles & Content)