Consider buying ad space in our magazine. Why? Well, as it turns out, people are reading this thing. I know, right? Most of Huffington Post and Buzzfeed got laid off, and here we are, in the print business, appealing to Millenials, whose attention spans are shorter than hey check out my Instagram. What are we doing right? We have NO IDEA—honestly. I, personally, thought this thing wouldn’t last any longer than tax write-off season. But, we’re still here, so now is your chance to jump on board, before we start gouging new clients and tripling our ad rates.
With every new ad client, we expand our map and distribution area (both online and in the real world), to cater to target markets. Do you sell organic, dreadlock hair weaves, made from sea salts and dyed with cruelty-free ink? We’ll expand more in Eugene. Perhaps you knit American flag beer cozies? Mill City just got itself four more stacks of Saucetown. The point here, is that we are complete whores to the dollar, willing to sell ourselves out now, so that we may monopolize the entire print industry later, eventually achieving total and complete world domination. Speaking of, check out our new spots in Lincoln City and Bend, thanks to help from our homies AKA Lyrik (L.C.) and Bend Comedy (guess...). Peep our online map and/or follow our social media, @SauceTownMag. Wanna buy an ad? Email [email protected].
Now, enjoy our February issue, buy a sandwich from Charlie’s Deli (they deliver to downtown Portland), grab some local glass from Spectrum Glass in Lebanon, buy a slice of Pizza Slut from the window next to Dante’s in Portland, check out the next PNW Comedy event in McMinnville, grab some smoke from Canyon Cannabis in Gates and then call BuddyPDX to haul away all of your trash, before following Bulldozer The Pug on social media. See? Your business gets the royal treatment when it opens up shop in Saucetown. You’re reading this...so will your customers. And, unlike Buzzfeed or HuffPo, our readers have money.
- Saucy McSauceface, Mayor Of Saucetown
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